Mexican culture 🇲🇽

Ok, now before I get into this, I want to VERY OPENLY ACKNOWLEDGE AND POINT OUT that I am a WHITE GIRL FROM THE UNITED STATES and this is just MY EXPERIENCE AND IMPRESSION OF MEXICAN CULTURE okay?!!

Now that that’s outta the way…. where TF to begin!?! Of course Mexican culture is different from the U.S. It’s a whole other country, with its own language(s), history and intrinsic built-in societal norms, y’all.

However, I do think one way we can separate some of the Mexican cultural norms into 3 P’s: Polite, Proud and Patriarchal. 👇👇

Polite 

What time of day is it? Mexicans will let you know with their near-constant use of:

• Buenos días (good morning)

• Buenas tardes (good afternoon)

• Buenas noches (good evening) 

This I find to be one of the most endearing and emblematic features of Mexican culture—they’re very polite. Incorporate the use of Señor, Señorita and Señora and you’ve got yourself a very proper way of greeting and addressing folks. I mean, can you imagine if Americans CONSTANTLY greeted each other by saying “Good evening, Miss!” We basically would all sound like butlers about to offer you a towel. But in Mexico, that’s the norm. 

Of course, there are downsides to the ever-constant use of gendering and addressing people by their age/status—in Mexican Spanish, you generally greet people based on their status relative to yours. If they’re older / a stranger, you use the “usted” conjugation, but if they’re relatively the same age as you and/or “below” you, you use the “tu” conjugation. This has its whole host of problems (one of which being considered impolite if you mess things up).

I should note that many Mexicans, especially in CDMX, are moving away from rendering folx altogether, and have started conjugating differently on paper and IRL. I need a bit more info about how this usually goes TBH, but it seems like instead of:

amigos —> amigxs or “amigues”

chicos —> chicxs or “chiques”

Ya get what I mean? If your Spanish is more evolved, you’ll hear this.

Welcoming

Mexicans are incredibly welcoming and generally warm. They often will take you in with open arms and invite you to literally join the family. 

FOR INSTANCE: 

Not joking—LITERALLY (Mexicanxs say “LITERAL”), as I was sitting here writing this in a restaurante in Sausalito, California, a man came up to me and complimented my new orange Nikes. I responded “Gracias!” and here’s what ensued:

Him: “Wait, hablas español?!” (Wait, do you speak spanish!?!)

Me: “Siii!”

Him:“De donde eres??” (Where are you from!?!)

Me: “Originalmente soy de Minnesota, pero ahora vivo en el D.F.” (I’m originally from Minnesota, but now I live in Mexico City)

Him: “En SERIO!!?? VIVES EN EL D.F.!!!!!! NO MANCHES!!!! Pero hablas PERFECTO español!!! Tienes que venir a platicar con nosotros!!! El es mi hermano visitando del D.F.!!!!! Voy al baño y regreso y vengas con nosotroooooos!!!” 

(SERIOUSLY??!!! You live in MEXICO CITY!?! NO FUCKING WAY!!! But you speak PERFECT spanish!!! You have to come hang out with us!! That’s my brother visiting from Mexico City!! I’m going to the bathroom and i’ll come back and you’re coming WITH USSSS!!!!)

Me: 😂😂😂 “Okay.” 

And then we sat at the bar and chopped it up for HOURS in Spanish while they ordered round after round of happy hour drinks and almost made me take shots of Mezcal (I told them I would die if we did). Then we ended up eating dinner and drinking carajillos and they INSISTED that I come to Michoacan to one of their family homes, took pictures with me and sent it to their sobrinos (nieces and nephews) in CDMX, got my instagram handle and started calling me “Cuñada” (sister-in-law) and called everyone they know in San Diego (where I’m going next) to find me a place to stay (even though I told them I already had one) and told me a million times that I am now part of the family. All while jabbing me consistently in the arm and throwing their arms around my shoulders and laughing and smiling. Lol. 

That’s Mexico/Mexicans for ‘ya. 

Saying “no” On another note… Mexicans have a hard time telling you “No.” It took me a looong time to figure out that I was slowly getting rejected from a guy I’d been dating in Mexico City—mostly because he couldn’t figure out how to just tell me “no” or “I’m no longer interested” or “I’m dating someone new” or whatever. Whereas here in the States it’s all cool to be super direct and upfront about what you want in a potential dating situation, in Mexico… not so much (at least in my experience).

Upon further investigation (i.e. asking people what the Mexican approach to “no” is) I realized that this is a larger cultural thing. Many Mexicans tend to be passive-aggressive—they want to save face and save you face, too. Here’s some common ways a Mexican might respond when you ask them something, without telling you “no” directly: 

• “Sí!” They’ll tell you yes. Then never actually follow through 

• “Ahorita” which translates to soon/right now/someday/never

• Avoid your question altogether and move onto another subject 

• “Quizas!” Maybe… Not. 

• “A ver si…” Let’s see if… which means probably never going to happen 

• “Estamos en contacto” We’ll be in contact…. Maybe. Lol 

So how do you know if you ACTUALLY have plans with someone in Mexico?!! Guess you just gotta be present, not take anything or anyone too seriously and find out. 😜 Actually, this really brings us to another important subject… 

TIME 

Ok , so Mexicans might know how to have a great time, but when it comes to being on time? Different story.  Mexicans have a far different perception of the clock itself compared to us on-the-go gringos. There’s a general lack of “sense of urgency” as they say in American bars and restaurants.

Here’s a visual  breakdown of when something/someone might be on time. Don’t say I didn’t warn ‘ya:

Proud Think gringos are proud to be Amurrrican? Mexicans have ‘ya beat. Mexicans are fiercely proud of their country—even through its faults. “Pinche Mexico” (fucking Mexico) is something I’ve heard often from my Mexican friends when discussing current events, but don’t get it twisted: Most of them will tell you straightaway that they’re 100% Mexican and proud of it. But they’re not nationalists, per se. A quick recap of nationalism:

na·tion·al·ism: identification with one's own nation and support for its interests, especially to the exclusion or detriment of the interests of other nations.

I feel that Mexican pride has a far different sabor than the States. Whereas American “patriots” tend to be in your face about how America is #1 and “the greatest country on earth” (read: a step down from nationalists), Mexicans are just proud. Plus, they like soccer more than peeps in the US—hence a lot of Mexican flags, jerseys, etc in your face all day, everyday. 

Of course, this is all from my POV (I’m obviously highly skeptical and critical of American patriotism), but I think it’s fair to say your average Mexican is more proud to be Mexican than your average American is to be American. 

The people’s sense of pride gives me joy—Mexico is an absolutely beautiful country and they have A LOT to be proud of (if you don’t believe me, go to the Anthropology Museum and find out). Now, that’s not to say Mexico comes without any faults…

Patriarchal 

Blergghhhh. It’s no secret that Mexican culture is patriarchal from the top down—it’s even built into the Spanish language: if there’s even one guy in a group of 10 girls, you’d still call them “amigos” (at least according to the OLD ways of doing things). Sexism is still rampant here and I get whistles and catcalls on the street… although it’s far less compared to my experience in Argentina in 2011 (which felt downright intrusive 24/7). Of course, like any country, this patriarchal sense is most prominent with the “older” crowd who is far more traditionalist than the modern city kids, etc.

One interesting thing I’ve noticed in the dating scene here: When I’m walking down the street with a guy, he always comes around on the other side of me to “protect” me from the street. It’s like some long-honored colonial etiquette.

I have to say though, there are some aspects of the patriarcía that even as a feminist I enjoy from time to time. I’m semi on team “You should pay for the first date” nowadays (talk to me about it when womxn make the same amount of $$ as men and everything we need to SURVIVE is free) and definitely appreciate not having to shell out too much cash every time I go out with a dude. ;) 

Party 

WAIT I forgot a P!! 

PARTY. 

Mexicans LOVE to party. Any excuse, anytime anywhere—no one parties like Mexicans do. Maybe this should’ve been tacked onto the “Polite” section, but whatever. If you ever find yourself on a beach in Mexico during Semana Santa (holy week), you’re in for a treat. Here, any excuse for a party goes, really…

General manners:

Tipping

If you’re a gringo and you’re reading this, ya gotta tip at least 15% when you go out to eat, get drinks, etc. 20% if you’re feeling generous. If I go to a taco stand on the street I usually throw some monedas in the jar if there is one, but it’s not really expected. 

But wait!! There’s an unexpected place you tip: 

See those cute old ladies and fellas at the grocery stores who bag your groceries? Rumor has it they don’t get paid and live off tips. I usually throw ‘em my monedas or 20-80 pesos if I have it on me. 

Using the loo 

If you need to use the “baño”, this might sound weird, but…. Don’t flush that toilet paper. Generally speaking, the plumbing here in Mexico is mediocre at best, horribly-embarrassing-if-you-do-it-wrong at worst. Ladies, don’t even THINK about flushing that tampon, either. 

Also, and maybe this is from experience, maybe check if the toilet even flushes at first or if there’s any toilet paper before you drop a deuce in a highly public place or party, lol. 

Water, basura 

If you actually start living here, of course you’ll need to start doing things like taking out the trash and, ya know—drinking the water.

Almost no one (at least that I know) drinks from the tap here. You can certainly brush your teeth with it, wash dishes with it, etc., but I wouldn’t drink it. 

As far as the garbage goes, Mexico is preetttyyy unique. The garbage people come every day ringin’ their bell and shouting “BASURAAAA!” up and down the streets. When I first came to CDMX, I actually thought the bell was the potato man? Turns out it’s garbage.

You literally just bring your garbage outside the the curb—they like to have it somewhat organized so it’s easy to grab etc. I’ve never done any recycling here 😬 I think they sort through it themselves? Not sure…

Eat yo’ veggies

Don’t eat unwashed veggies !!!! I wash all my fruit and vegetables with fresh water and usually soak everything in a bowl with a few drops of Microdyn to help get the nasties out.

To be continued >>>